your final lullaby

knowing is better than wondering

2006-10-01T04:39:52Z

you know when you have one of those days that you just can't stand everyone? it's weird. because i can't stand people for the past month...a month. is that my genes kicking in? my antisocial genes from my parents? or do people just constantly give me something to complain about? i'm not perfect, you aren't either. but don't accentuate your faults with lies and other things that people will find out in the end. people let me down, they always do. it doesn't surprise me, but i still can't say that i'm used to it, persay.

if you think you're cool because you go out all weekend and come home with a monsterous hangover then you can think again. and if you think you're cool because you have a different opinion from everyone else you can think again, because theres bound to be someone, in this large universe, with the same thoughts, and same mind. does it makes you sick? that someone has thought what you have thought about before.

and if you think you're cool because you critisize other people from having different opinions from you, or being into different things, you can suck my dick. my big FAT dick. okay? because i'm so over people telling me that the way i deal with things is useless and also ignorant. i'm also sick of people preaching to me about how i'm pro abortion, how we are killing life. well this planet is getting over populated with bubbleheads, we need some control. keep your daughters indoors. theres nothing wrong with missing a weekend at the commons you guys. what's going to happen? someone going to get into a fight. elco vs some rich kid from chaminade. what the hell do you want from us?

what does everybody want lately? it's like i owe the world something for breathing. it's like everything i do. i owe someone in some way. everyone owes me, everyone owes me an apology. everyone owes me an apology for being so heartless, cold, and selfish. especially when i needed you. apologize once in a while, you are bound to do something wrong anyways. and mean it when you say it. "sorry" shouldn't have to be tossed around the way it is, and "love" shouldn't be tossed around either.

for all those people out there who think they're in love with their boyfriend/girlfriend you don't. you're not in love with whoever you're with right now. YOU'RE NOT. and if you tell me that i don't know what i'm talking about, then WHATEVER. it's your opinion, do what you want with it. if you think that love is getting blown and fingered and having ghonnerea then do that. do what you want, it's your life. you make it, you break it.

i'm done. goodnight.

You see right through me

2006-05-08T15:49:25Z

Ask me what my pet peeve is, and I'll tell you, "I don't really know." But I found out last night what my major pet peeve is. I hate slow people, not mentally retarded or something. Just people who take their time with everything.
People who take an hour just to eat half of their sandwich. People who take an hour just to put their hair up in a ponytail. People who are persistantly "forgetting" to call me regarding projects. Just people who take life, nice and slow. I suppose this is how we should all live, savor every moment. But that's not how I am, and I can't take that, I might as well rip out my hair and stuff it into the nearest toilet before you finish your sandwich, little suzy q. I have a really good friend, who is slow with everything. Everyone knows it, and she KNOWS it bugs me. But it's gotten to the point where she just does it to piss me off.
This is one of my rant entries, the useless lame ones that I probably will end up deleting soon.

you're cruel.

2006-02-15T00:14:32Z

it's "i hate dina" day at school. currently, all of my friends are mad at me because i'm upset about something, and they say i'm ruining their valentines day.
you know, for once, i ask for help from someone, and all they do is throw it right back in my face.
and then i realize, i have no true friends.
i have nobody that i can actually say, they'd give up their life for me.
and it's funny because i would give up my life for all of my friends, but they wouldn't.
amazing.
and i had to figure all of this out on valentines day.

evrybreathutake @ 2005-09-26T17:48:00

2005-09-27T00:53:34Z

It seems farther than heaven itself

Time makes you bolder, even children get older

2005-06-25T20:10:52Z

When I see you now, moving slowly with new life growing inside you, I hope you know how much you meant to me, and how special this year has been. No woman is more blessed than me, and I love you with all my heart

::RECAP ON THIS YEAR:: (some of them are classes, most are people)

Cross Country--Meeting Morgan Patrick Lyons, one of the greatest guy friends you could ever have. And watching him kick more ass than I do while running. Special talks about "ICING THE FUCKIN' CAKE!" and singing at the top of our lungs..I'll never forget it. When is our special meet with the camel going to happen?
Religion Class-- Talking to Natasha from across the room, having Mr. Evans threaten me to be kicked out (uh-oh). Sitting next to Melissa & Ryan and basically laughing at anything and everything.
P.E. Class-- Is it time for Mariah Carey again? Krista, Kim, Melissa, Ashlayy, Ben, and me just sitting down and doing what we do best..SING OUR FUCKING HEARTS OUT! Never ever running, even when Mr. Anderson tells us to get our asses moving. Seeing MP run was so incredibly interesting.
Percush Cush-- This class served for some bonding time with Kim, Kaitlin, Kayla, Ashlayy, Ben, Christina, Whitney, Lisa (bridgette), and Melissa Always, no matter what, have fun in this class. Even if there are no pop tarts or soda. We had the craziest song to play (original phrase said by Miss Snyder). Also, getting lectured about not having sex in the bathroom because "a baby these days costs a lot and you kids don't know the value of money" was insanely hilarious.
Language Class-- Constantly making old man Rau angry with Noe was so much fun. Watching him lecture us at the end of the year about "hot pants, and men that were wearing them in the 70s" never gets old.

Kim-- Kimberly Anne Reyes, somebody I have to treasure, probably the most. You are the greatest person to ever grace my life, and I love you for it. Ear Porn might as well become something I watch every day. Long walks with you around school, and just talking about our guy problems will never get old. As soon as I start driving, we're gonna go look for hott guys with extremely bizarre hair cuts and weird shaped bodies. You have always been there for me, so I wanted to say thank you. By the way, Megan is the worst grand-daughter I've ever had in my life. I mean..come on. She made a SN about Gio's nose..Okay, how weird is that? I love you like a sister my wonderful Lugina.
Jazz-- Jasleen Kaur Singh, MY LIONESS. Oh my god, we have so many memmories that I can't even recall. Ever since we were 3, we were best friends. COUNT THAT BITCH! Jesus, that's a long time. I don't even know how I put up with you and your burping-o-strawberries. We must be soo fucking annoying when we're together. Just think about it, I mean, we dance, sing, and talk..extremely loud. So what, we're cool. Although your brother hates me, I still enjoy going to your house and sitting outside eating whatever it is that we've baked that day. I love you so much, and by the way, are you coming up tonight?
Ashlayy-- Ashley Jennifer Tomita Cervantes, our lit projects continue to suck major ass and that is what brought us together. Not really, it was when we went out for dinner that one time, and you slept over. You are non stop fun, and the things you say sometimes amaze me because of your smart asian thought process. I just realized how we talk about the randomest things, such as driving, chocolate body lotion, and bands from the 60s. You tell me when I'm being a snoby bitch, and I tell you when you're being too loud. I love you very much so my wittle pencil.
Krista-- Krista Victoria Kaczorowski, GUYS ARE WHAT WE LIVE FOR. WE ARE MAN EATERS! HAHAHA, our shag rug sex is amazing. And without you, I don't know how I would be able to live. I mean, come on, I live on Olives, and you live on Cheesey Puffs, how bizarre is that? You've been the one who's been able to make me happy these past weeks. They've been really hard on me, but you always find a way to make me so fucking happy. I love you so much my dearest Jessibell Lee Azarowski, and our lame ass picture poses make me so happy.
Sydney-- Sydney Leigh Bossert, PICKLE ON PICKLE ACTION FOREVER. God damnit, you are so hilarious, and our gay voices will last a life time. Living in the big V.A. sucked, but with you it's so much fun. Spending all of our money on shopping, going out to Sisley (for the fourth time that week) to eat lunch, and just spend it talking about absolutely nothing important. I love spending time with you because we always have a awesome time, and I love you so much.
Melissa-- Melissa Nicole Manger, you are so amazing. Your smile, laugh, and just about everything is so freaking addicting. You've always been there for me. Well, I guess you should, since you were MY FIRST FRIEND AT CHAMINADE. WOOT WOOT! I used to think you were like the coolest person because you wore makeup and I didn't. And I was like, "GOD WHY DOES SHE WEAR MAKEUP? SHE'S GORGEOUS ANYWAYS." Jealous, maybe? Religion with you is absolutely amazing, and I wouldn't trade it in for anything, besides some good Olives and Cookies so we could get hyper and run around Krista's island thing in her kitchen. I love you missy.
Jesi-- Jessica Cecillia Diab and I became close because of our incessant cravings for Baklava. Although we are lesbian, lebanese sisters, we always have fun. Jesi your ADD is getting out of hand, you should get that checked. By the way, when are you going to get me a new butterfly net? Because you ripped my other one, WHORE. I don't even know how you got the idea that I smelled like shit..maybe it's your own smell..that you smell. Did that make any sense? I guess it did you little BAKLAVALOVINGFREAKASSWHOLOVESORIDA. I love you woman. Even though you plan on getting married into the family for the secret recipe.
Lo-- Lauren Smith (don't know your middle name?), I haven't known you very long, but all I know is that I can tell you anything and trust you. You are so incredibly funny with our constant change of answering machine thingys. Making fun of Kaitlyn has never been so hilarious-uahhhh. Come over any time you want, because we're guarenteed of a good time in the nook and we'll fit some orgy action in there too.
Kayy-- KAITLYN MARIE MARTIN (oh gosh mrs. buzby), YOU LITTLE WHORE. My sex kitten is wayy to cool for all of you bitches (i.e. men.) Just the thought of you makes me laugh, and that's not a bad thing I swear. I love laughing at you, but you like laughing at me too.. so it all evens out right? Spend some more time in Californ-ia bitch. I love you..call me
Natasha-- Natasha Natalie Davani, you have always been a great friend, whether I would like to admit it or not. Although we've grown apart this year, our memmories will always still be fresh in my mind. Don't you worry. If we're eating sushi, or laughing at some old guy because he eats prunes, we always had a great time. I just wanted to let you know that you were always great friend.
Steven-- Steven Mannix (middle name is highly classified), GAHH I LOVE YOU FOR FUCKS SAKE. You were always at my house, and basically like..lived with me. Do you realize how freaking annoying you are at 6 in the morning, when you're pounding on my door, and asking me if I wanted to go to IHOP. For gods sakes Steven, get a life. Remember when you and my brother were driving me to some party, and you were like, "DINA SWEETHEART I'M OVER HERE!" You've never embaressed me, although you enjoyed to try. I laugh at your allergies to cut grass and love for pulp in your god damn orange juice (ew that's disgusting) I love you once again my little prune head.
Mark-- Mark McKnight (do you two just have a thing to like, not tell me your middle name?) You and Steven basically lived on my couch. What the hell is up with your hooters? HAHAHAHA!! I hate it when you like, scratch my door, and expect me to answer. And when I finally do you're like, "WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? I THOUGHT YOU DIED IN THERE!" By the way, I do enjoy smelling like an island, fool. So don't you even think it's gonna piss me off. By the way, when is Kathleen going to gallop like an antelope for us again? "I'M CHOKING!!" *motions to throat* "This is the best day of my life." "Dina, your mom should have her own thing on the food channel." I love you like a brother, even though I practically adopted you.
Morgan-- Morgan Patrick Lyons, you are one of the funniest people I have ever met in my life. We talk about mostly our relationship problems, sometimes other things. Like when people are being bitch-hoes, or perverts. I always tell you everything because I know I can trust you. I love you so much my friend, I'm always here if you need anything. By the way, I hope you're having a kick ass time in Europe. CALL ME IF YOU CAN!!
Mike-- So yeah, I dedicated one whole thing to you. Michael Robert Mccarty served for most of the good times this year. Trying to balance on that fucking line isn't hard, you just push me off you little bastard! Arguing over where we should sit so Harrison & Natasha wouldn't get mad at us. Extremely long phone conversations, and powerbars became something that I ate every day. Eww you're extremely cocky at times, and I laugh at your incompitence of the idea of rides down to the big V.A. Thanks for coming out to the stupid fieldtrip for me..and stuff. hahaha, Currently, I am not part of a democracy. You know the rest

In your honor, I will die tonight

2005-06-18T06:46:16Z

I would write something long and thoughtful, but pictures say a thousand words, right? I didn't take that many pictures at graduation, soo bare with me people.

Aww look it's my little fucker <33 (hahaha i love you)

DINNER DANCE

Finishing off with my bestest friend in the entire universe, Kimberly Anne Reyes--you are like a sister to me, and I'm so happy that we are close. I love you more than anything in the entire universe my friend.

<33

Picture of you in your "Birthday Suite"

2005-06-05T02:07:21Z

Aww my babies

Totally disregard me from that picture because I look like a fuck head.

I love you guys so much

But your burden... it looks a lot like her

2005-05-14T18:58:31Z

But some things never get better
like used cars and bad livers.
So you traded her in for a better looking brand.
One with fake porno tits
a pad lock on her lips
disposable tan
biodegradable hands

Beneath the sheets of paper, lies my truth

2005-05-07T17:53:12Z

Life can fool us with many feelings of falseness. For example, love.
Was it love?

Maybe I thought it was love because you could look me straight in the eye and tell me that you loved me. You weren't afraid of me, and my reaction. I wasn't afraid either. I didn't think you were telling lies when you said you loved me.

But now, I'm starting to think that it was a lie. You can't even look me in the eye if we're talking about the weather. I think you're afraid now of what I might say about the past. Maybe the past is all I have left to hold onto, because quite frankly, the present isn't going too well.

Anybody who knew me well enough before you, knew that I was depressed. The smallest things would send me off, rage and anger became part of my everyday routine. But when you came around it was constant smiling, laughing, I eluded happiness. I was too caught up in the moment to realize that reality would have to come back one day. Now that it's back, I'm longing for a dream world that occupied my absent mind.

I know you miss it too, I just don't think you've realized it yet. You have too many girls lusting after you anyways. Am I jealous? No. But you do know that you meant a lot to me, the feeling hasn't changed. You still mean a lot, but I think it's time that I give up because I'm just fighting for a lost cause.

I think I thought I saw you try.

2005-04-23T23:51:10Z

I honestly do not think that the world is split up into the two categories of good and bad people.
I think, that we are all shit for people. We go off and blast each others brains out every day just to get a point across. But, what is your point? Wouldn't it just be so much easier if you said something, instead of causing the people around you grief? Everything that anybody does these days is out of sheer jealousy, or just to fit in.
Everybody's a hypocrite, including myself. But at least I admit it. What about when your wrong? Some people just have too much pride to admit it, and they don't apologize, at least most of the time. But when they do apologize, they never mean it, and it's those two words, with that sorrowful face and within an instant the person expects you to be happy with them again. I just don't understand how two little words can just fix an entire friendship or relationship.
We're graduating in two months, and the same people that I see every day, for the past three years. Have grown older, and evolved. Some for the better, most for the worst. It's disturbing seeing somebody that you knew so well, change before your eyes over-night. It also makes me sick to know that in a couple years, I'm not going to be friends with half of the people that I knew.
It also bothers me that people actually think that they are better then everybody else because they are insanely smart. If you're going to ask me if I'm in Algebra I, then I DARE YOU to call it dumb math. More then 5 honors students walked up to me and told me that I was "too dumb to even be in dumb math."
Honestly, are the smarter people the victims here, or am I? I think people like that bring it upon themselves for everybody to hate them. Matt White actually LAUGHS at me when I answer questions in Science because he thinks that I'm too dumb to answer anything. I've got news for you mother fucker, I'm just as smart as you. Get over it, just because you have a stable family and an A in Quantum Physics doesn't make you better than anybody else.
People try so hard to be something they're not. When I was younger I used to believe that there was good in everybody. And there was always something to look forward to. But now I doubt to even find GOOD IN ME.
This was a horribly long list of complaints, but I don't care if you read it or not. I'm putting it here so if I actually do find hope in people then I'll look back at this and appreciate what I have.

Is that the only point to all this misory?

2005-04-13T23:17:44Z

Tell me about certain memmories I had with you...
And I'll respond with the same
xoxo
dina

evrybreathutake @ 2005-03-30T15:11:00

2005-03-30T23:14:53Z

*TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey*
Name:	Dina
Birthday:	October 15th
Birthplace:	california
Current Location:	THE BIG V.A, no not virginia.
Eye Color:	brown
Hair Color:	brunette with natural red highlights
Height:	5'6
Right Handed or Left Handed:	right
Your Heritage:	lebanese
The Shoes You Wore Today:	flats
Your Weakness:	misses beaslies lemon cakes
Your Fears:	spiders and super glue
Your Perfect Pizza:	olives and green peppers
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	be able to control a speeding bike with my chin
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	"oh okay"
Thoughts First Waking Up:	fuck.
Your Best Physical Feature:	hair...only sometimes
Your Bedtime:	depends
Your Most Missed Memory:	when i would watch jurassic park 2 with my brothers
Pepsi or Coke:	orange soda.. if there is none, coke
MacDonalds or Burger King:	neither
Single or Group Dates:	group
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	i hate ice tea. i like normal tea better
Chocolate or Vanilla:	both
Cappuccino or Coffee:	depends
Do you Smoke:	no
Do you Swear:	yes
Do you Sing:	of course
Do you Shower Daily:	why would you ask me that
Have you Been in Love:	sure why not.
Do you want to go to College:	yusss
Do you want to get Married:	maybe
Do you belive in yourself:	sometimes
Do you get Motion Sickness:	nope
Do you think you are Attractive:	i dont know
Are you a Health Freak:	yeah
Do you get along with your Parents:	sometimes
Do you like Thunderstorms:	yes
Do you play an Instrument:	yes, the piano
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	nope
In the past month have you Smoked:	nope
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	nope
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	yeah i guess
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	i live there
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	yes at jazz's house of course
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	i had some this afternoon
In the past month have you been on Stage:	at school during p.e.
In the past month have you been Dumped:	yup
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	hahaha yeah
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	nope
Ever been Drunk:	yes. bad experience
Ever been called a Tease:	yes actually
Ever been Beaten up:	my brother used to punch me
Ever Shoplifted:	nope
How do you want to Die:	i want to go on an expedition, and have no food, so people would have to eat me. not sexually though.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	clothing designer or lawyer
What country would you most like to Visit:	anywhere, i love traveling
*In a Boy/Girl..*
Favourite Eye Color:	blue/green
Favourite Hair Color:	doesn't matter as long as it isn't bleached
Short or Long Hair:	medium
Height:	tall
Weight:	i want a big fat man that i can sleep on...like a mattress
Best Clothing Style:	doesn't matter
Number of Drugs I have taken:	ow my shoulder just cracked
Number of CDs I own:	58 1/2
Number of Piercings:	2 in each ear
Number of Tattoos:	none..yet
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	a lot.
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

I was happier then with no mind-set

2005-03-25T17:11:14Z

I'm looking in on the good life I might be doomed never to find.
Without a trust or flaming fields am I too dumb to refine?
And if you'd 'a took to me like
Well I'd a danced like the queen of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.

Happy Valentines Day

2005-02-15T02:05:03Z

So, I've decided that I am an "in between person" when it comes to Valentines Day...
I think its over-commercialized, but you still get to tell the people you love, you love them. But shouldn't you do that every single day? What makes today any different?

The reason why I like Valentine's day though, is because for the first time, in a really long time, I had a nice one. Although I've partially liked Valentine's Day because it's my Dad's birthday.

I thought a lot today, and I realized that I've come to appreciate the people I love a lot more. I hope they respect me as much as I respect them.

I love you guys soo much, you have no clue.

xoxo
dina

School Pictures

2005-02-02T03:41:33Z

Ashley was dancing outside

I thought this picture was pretty cool

This one is my favorite. But Ben isnt actually groping the Rau's bottom.

My beautiful Krista, I have a lazy eye in this picture.

This one is self explanatory

RAINY DAY!

The Infamous Flick and Flack

So perfect you paint it

2005-01-08T17:37:32Z

Europe '04-'05

So this is the only picture I could manage to get off of my camera

More pictures will be coming soon, I promise

Happy 2005 <3

2005-01-03T10:31:19Z

FRIENDS ONLY.
Comment to be added!
xoxo,
dina